Under stringent and sterile conditions in our top-secret underground lab in the Himalayas, the Killer Buzz scientists have performed exhaustive tests on willing subjects, and recorded their experiences, ounce by ounce, upon consuming Killer Buzz:
2 oz Increased alertness
4 oz Heightened perception and focus
8 oz Enhanced energy and performance
16 oz Spontaneous IQ increases; gigantic thigh muscles
32 oz Telepathy; ability to taste colors
48 oz Power of flight; immortality
The Killer Buzz scientists have not yet dared to cross the 48 oz barrier, as our calculations show you would collapse into a singularity, an infinitely dense point of pure mass and energy, that would consume the universe. But we're working on it.
Stick that in a can and drink it.
